Moms wake up with a to do list in the forefront of their minds.
-Get The Kids Up
-Make Breakfast
-Change Diapers/ Change Clothes
-Clean Up Breakfast
-Let The Dog Out
– Etc. Etc. Etc.
The list continues all day long. Checking things done, adding things on, crossing things off to save till tomorrow. It’s never ending, everyday, all day long.
At the end of the day once the kids are in bed and the chaos has minimized you look around and review that mental checklist. For me instead of remembering all the things I checked off as done I notice all the things that I never even added to the list that I should have done, and completely forgot about. The little things that fell through the cracks. That I missed. That I feel if anyone else walked into my house would have noticed, but I somehow missed.
In missing those things I feel like I failed. I could have accomplished 100 things but in missing those minuscule 10 things I feel I have failed the day. Whether I forgot to start the dishwasher or didn’t remember to grab milk at the grocery store and now it’s bedtime and we are out and the whole day seems like a fail because I didn’t remember to do it all.
As a mom, scratch that, as a woman, society and social media portray this idea, this image that you should have it all together. That you have the ability to make days seamless from start to finish. That as a woman you have the ability to do it all, and easily, with a smile on your face and a full heart. That you should be able to make fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast while your homemade sourdough loaf bakes in the oven and you hear the pitter patter of little feet coming downstairs for breakfast saying “Good Morning Mommy”.
Some mornings may look like that, but as you’re riding that high of your world being perfect around noon the kids start to fight over who gets to use the play broom to sweep up the dead fly they just found and then you realize the sourdough is burning and one of the kids just spilt their orange juice all over the counter and it’s running off onto the floor and now the dog is licking it up, and it will surely get diarrhea from it later. Then that to do list that you were happily working your way through not only gets put on pause but almost doubles with new tasks you’ve just mentally added to it. The kids are asking for snacks, the dog’s barking because the cute fall sign you put on the front door sounds like someone is knocking when the wind is blowing just right and your husband just texted that they have to work late and won’t be home for bedtime. At 9:00 am you felt like you could conquer the world with your coffee in hand and now it’s 1:00 pm and the day feels like it weighs 1000 pounds.
Fast forward to the end of the night and you realize you never got around to emptying the dishwasher so the dirty dishes in the sink from breakfast are still there. Your husband is eating the pizza from lunch for dinner, because you don’t have it in you to cook one more meal for the day. All you want to do is shower because you’ve had the same mascara on since yesterday and you have a couple pieces of hair that are crunchy with something you don’t remember.
The guilt of not being able to accomplish it all begins to add up and swallow you whole. You feel like you failed as a mom today because you lost your crap when they carried the magic sand through the house after you had just swept. You feel like you failed as a wife because you didn’t have a fresh dinner for you husband when he walked in the door from work. You feel like you failed yourself because you didn’t fit that workout in during nap time that you swore you’d do.
There are a lot of things you didn’t get done today, but most of those things only you will notice. You know the things people did notice though?
Your kids noticed when mommy laid in the floor to color with them and drew silly faces and funny looking cats.
Your kids noticed when mommy turned the music up and started dancing with them during their afternoon dance party.
Your kids noticed when mommy sat down and helped them build a tower with the magnatiles because theirs kept falling over.
Your kids noticed when mommy chased them through the house acting like a monster just to make them laugh.
Your best friend noticed when you took the time out of your day to send her a text asking her how their weekend was because you were both busy and didn’t connect all weekend.
Your husband noticed that there was food in the microwave and he didn’t have to think about what he was going to eat for dinner.
You might notice all the tiny things in your world that didn’t get marked off of your to do list, but all the people around you that matter had absolutely no idea. They did however notice your effort in showing up for them in any form that you could. You showed up tired, you showed up messy, you showed up whether you really wanted to or not, but you did in fact show up. So the sink may have not been empty when you shut off the light at the end of the day and headed to bed, but you my girl did your absolute best and you showed up for yourself, for your kids and for those around you that you love because that’s who you are. Cup Empty or Cup Full you poured what you had. Forget the rest ❤